Pinch-And-a-Punch-For-The-First-of-The-Month Victim Dies in Hospital

body

A Sydney office worker has died after being attacked by a colleague committed to continuing the tradition of giving people a pinch and a punch on the first day of every month.

The victim, an 83-year-old Coogee resident, was rushed to Bondi Hospital early this morning after receiving the deadly pinch-punch combo as he arrived at work.

“It’s a tragedy, but I can’t see how it could’ve been avoided,” a police spokesperson said. “Unfortunately for the victim, it’s the first day of the month, which makes this sort of attack not only legal, but expected.”

The attacker, a 23-year-old mixed martial artist from Bankstown said he “felt sorry” for the victim, but also noted that “he should have stayed away from the office until after lunch and maybe built up his strength with an extra crumpet or something”.

One witness described it as “one of the best pinches [he’d] ever seen”.

“He must have hit a pressure point as the old guy froze and couldn’t get his hands up in time to block the swift right hander that followed. It was kinda beautiful, really,” he said.

The victim was due to retire at the end of the week.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s