NSW Transport Tops Rich List Thanks to Passengers Forgetting to Tap Off

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Transport for New South Wales has thanked “absent-minded passengers” for helping it become one of the world’s most profitable companies, in a statement released just two years after it completed rolling out the Opal card system across Sydney.

“We’re excited to announce our rise to the top of the Forbes Billionaire’s list,” the statement reads. “We couldn’t have done it without all of you distracted, tired, drunk or flustered passengers who forget to tap off the bus at the end of a journey. We’d like to extend a special thank you to those who do remember but can’t find their card quickly enough and don’t want to hold up the bus.”

Industry experts have congratulated Transport for NSW for mandating that passengers who forget to tap off when disembarking a bus be automatically charged the maximum fare, noting that there were “so many other ways they could have gone with it” and “they didn’t even bother putting up signs or making announcements to remind people to tap off. It was genius”.

The masterminds behind the system, all of who are set to retire this year, put out a joint statement thanking passengers and ending with: “sadly, it’s time for us to get out of the driver’s seat. This has been quite the journey but, unlike so many of you, we know when to tap off”.

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