BREAKING: Budgy Smuggler to Introduce Pockets for White Privilege Card

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Australian swimwear brand Budgy Smuggler has promised “this will never happen again”, after a blunder left nine of their richest spokespeople in hot water when an advertising stunt went sour during the Malaysian Grand Prix. The brand is adding a small pocket to every swimsuit to allow wearers to carry their White Privilege Card on them at all times.

“We admit the oversight was ours,” a spokesperson said. “Our target market is rich folk who can do whatever they like, whenever they like. This pocket will allow them to continue to do whatever they fancy without annoying things like other cultures and laws getting in the way.”

The move comes after a Malaysian court released the men, noting we should not hold white men with privileged backgrounds to the same standards of decency and common sense we expect from everyone else, confirming early reports from the Sydney Sentinel.

The nine men’s defence lawyer agreed it was only fair his clients not be held accountable for their actions because that they were just doing what comes naturally to them.

“Stripping down or dressing down to swimming trunks comes almost second nature to them without even batting an eyelid,” he said.

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