A huge increase in flies across Sydney in recent days has caused mass confusion among the sign-language community as people inadvertently insulted, hit on and swore at those around them while swatting away the insects.
“One sign-language reader punched me in the face today after I swatted two of the buggers away,” one office worker said. “Once someone explained what I’d said about her grandma with my hand gestures, I gave myself a punch in the face too.”
Things haven’t turned out all bad though after a particularly lengthy display of swattery in Hyde Park led to romance for construction worker, Gary, and ballet dancer, Sonya. “It was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me,” Sonya explained through her Auslan interpreter.
Gary said even though he swallowed one of the flies, it was worth it. “Don’t tell her I was just trying to get rid of the flies,” he added. “She’s the best sort I’ve ever met!”
Experts have predicted the fly plague will clear “some time in the next year or two” and advised Sydneysiders to don novelty-store cork hats until then to “avoid any further confusion”.