Man Set to Achieve None of His Holiday Plans

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A Sydney man is set to once again achieve none of his well-thought-out plans over the Christmas holidays, including reading a book, returning from a 14-year exercise break and being a good dad.

“I always plan to get so much done,” the man said. “But by the time the holidays are almost over, I’ve wasted the whole thing looking at my phone in bed, on the couch, or while driving the car.”

“To make matters worse, I then waste the remainder of the holidays feeling anxious about not doing anything with my holidays, so I return to work with mild brain damage.”

He is not alone, with scientists from the CSIRO discovering more than 93 per cent of Sydney-siders waste their holidays doing exactly what they usually do at work, only in underwear.

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