A father of three from Little Bay in Sydney’s east is still at the wicket in a family game of backyard cricket that began on Christmas Day.
The man’s kids have fought through skin-crackling sunburn, life-threatening splinters from jumping the neighbours’ fence to retrieve the ball, and crude sledges about their mum, said the eldest son.
“He’s been smashing us across the backyard for eight days now,” he said. “It’s been gruelling and he shows no sign of slowing down. I think the new Stubbies he got for Christmas have freed up his movement to make shots that border on sorcery.”
“It’s bloody annoying,” said the man’s wife. “He’s called Channel 9 to see if they’d like to televise the game.”
“He keeps calling me a poof,” said the youngest son. “My boyfriend is finding it really uncomfortable.”
The kids plan on kneecapping their dad if the game continues for another day.