A glorious Sydney day has forced thousands of people to leave the comfort and familiarity of their home because they feel like they have to.
“When I woke up with the sun in my eyes, I knew my day was ruined,” one Sydney local said, adding that he’d planned to share a day on the couch with a few schooners of whiskey and his “best mate”, PornHub.
“The last nice day we had on a weekend, my partner dragged me out to do the Bondi to Coogee walk, but this Chloe chick banned me so we had to walk to Maroubra instead,” he said.
Despite the man’s level-eight hangover, his partner has a full day of activities scheduled for him, including kayaking, snorkelling, water-skiing and hosting a BBQ for 80 people.
“I’ll have to decant a litre of vodka into a water bottle to have any chance of surviving this day,” the man said.