Sydney Light Rail to be Demolished; Monorail to Return


Work on the $21.3 billion Sydney Light Rail will cease today as the state government prepares to scrap the project to make way for a new monorail instead.

The new monorail will be the old monorail that was torn down in 2013, but with additional track to extend all the way to Port Macquarie on the New South Wales Mid North Coast.

The move came after someone at a state government board meeting thought to question the point of the Sydney Light Rail project and no one had an answer that could be said on the record.

Officials have promised that the monorail project, which is estimated to cost up to $900 trillion and predicted to close every major street in Sydney’s CBD until 2078, is in the best interest of tax payers and will cause “minimal obstruction” to traffic.

Demolition of the work that has already been completed on the Light Rail project is set to begin this week, with construction crews estimating that it could take as little as one day to undo work that has been causing increasing traffic issues over the past year.

“Luckily, we haven’t really done anything yet,” one construction worker said. “We pretty much just put up all the hoardings and hid behind them smoking darts all day. One fella even set up Mario Kart 64.”

No one is sure why, but all remaining trees along Anzac Parade will also be chopped down immediately.


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