Hospital Coffee Machine with a Beard takes out Coffee Festival Prize

Coffee beard

A coffee machine with a beard has been awarded first prize at Sydney’s annual Hot Beverages and Biscuits Festival.

Dr Nonstrife, a spokesperson for Maroubra General Hospital, where the machine is located, said he only put the beard on the machine for a bit of a laugh, but decided to enter it into the competition after discovering that the addition improved the taste of the coffee buy at least 400 per cent.

“We have no idea how it happened, but the beard really did improve the machine’s ability to spit out a cappuccino, be ironic and think of itself as unique – despite the fact we have the same machine on every level of the hospital,” Dr Nonstrife said. “It’s been especially popular with the folk coming in for avo hand injuries.”

A nurse at the hospital said she didn’t understand what all the fuss was about, but was grateful that the funds raised meant the hospital might soon be able to pay her a living wage.

“When we jacked up the price to $12 we had lines out the door wanting to taste the machine’s bearded magic,” she said. “As somebody with things to do, instant coffee does me fine. Maybe if I had a trust fund or a job that didn’t matter, I’d have more appreciation for the finer things in life.”

A spokesperson for the Hot Beverages and Biscuits festival said the machine nailed it.

“We’re used to a belittling quip from talented baristas first thing in the morning, but this machine took things one step further and ignored us completely. It was spellbinding,” he said.

The machine is back on location at Maroubra General Hospital, now sporting a “funny hat” and a “shirt featuring a band you’ve never heard of”. Coffee prices are set to rise accordingly.

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