Australia’s obsession with sports may have a direct correlation to social norms discouraging men from crying, according to a new study that found many men considered seeing their team win or lose a game as the only acceptable time to leak from the eyes.
“I haven’t cried since Optimus Prime died in the ’86 Transformers movie, so it was a huge relief when I discovered the real reason men watch sports,” one self-described footy fanatic said. “Luckily, I support the Rabbitohs, so there have been plenty of opportunities for me to have a proper cry this season.”
The study also found that “an excuse to get smashed” and “an excuse to yell in public” also rated highly on the list of reasons for watching sports, with many of those surveyed pointing out the “obviousness” of these motivations.
“Why else would anyone watch sports? I mean, take away the drinking, yelling and crying, and football is pretty boring,” one man said. “The Bachelor is heaps more entertaining.”