Man Finishes Movie Snacks Before Movie Starts

movies

A Sydney movie goer who purchased a jumbo popcorn and Coke to enjoy throughout his Thursday night flick has managed to demolish all his treats during the trailers.

To make matters worse, the man said this was not the first time it’s happened.

“Last time I floored all my snacks before even making it to my seat, so this was a slight improvement,” the man said. “However, with ads and trailers pushing 90 minutes these days, I feel like I never had a chance to begin with.”

The man confirmed that after dropping $430 on tickets and snacks, he wasn’t in a financial position to get a choc-top reinforcement to see him into the actual movie.

His Facebook suggestion to show the trailers after the movie was met with a firm “no” from cinemas.

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Mystery Surrounds Phone that Dies when Owner Asked to Share Uber

UBER PHONE

A Sydney man’s phone consistently runs out of battery the exact moment an Uber needs to be booked on a night out, a special investigation into the matter has been told.

Friends said they raised the alarm after the man reported his phone’s mysterious behaviour for the ninth weekend in a row.

“He always seems to have a hard time retrieving his phone from his pocket when someone suggests we catch an Uber, which is odd because he’s the quickest draw in the Inner West when a Tinder notification comes through,” one friend said. “Then, when he does finally get his phone out to book an Uber, it’s always dead.”

Another friend has confirmed the story, adding that the man always promises to buy the person paying for the ride a drink.

“The drink never comes,” another friend of the man said. “But when we get to the pub, his phone always miraculously comes back to life until it’s time to share an Uber home.”

Sydney Pub Entices Families with Schoonerccinos for Kids

kids schooner

Inspired by the way the Sydney café scene flourished after adding babyccinos to the menu in the early 2000s, a Surry Hills pub has begun offering schoonerchinos to keep young children entertained while their parents drink.

The publican behind the innovation, who describes his mini schooners as “caffeine-free and perfect for little hands”, said there was no longer any reason for patrons to leave the pub early or leave their kids locked in the car while they drink.

“We’ve found many of our customers aren’t able to drink as much as they’d like to because of family annoyances like having to pick their kids up from school or be home to make breakfast. This way, they can simply bring their kids with them in the morning and spend the day together as a loving family,” he said. “We’re even thinking of running a lesson or two in the pokie lounge to teach the little ones about math or computers or something.”

A government spokesperson has called the move “earth shattering for families”, adding that “it takes a village to raise a child, and a pub provides that village environment perfectly”.

The pub said it would limit kids to eight regular schooners and 52 schoonerccinos an hour.