The Bachelor Labelled Sexist for Having Only Female Contestants

Bach

Men’s groups have labelled Channel Ten’s The Bachelor as sexist for not including a single male in its line-up of 21 contestants competing for bachelor Matty J’s heart.

The group has said there’s no job a man can’t do except the ones they don’t want to do.

“It’s our choice to ignore some female tasks like cooking, vacuuming and laundry,” a men’s group spokesperson said.“However, this show doesn’t even give us a chance to have a go.”

One man who applied to be a contestant on the show said he was never even contacted.

“The real loser in this situation is Matty J,” the man said. “I can skol a schooner of rum, put an entire pay cheque through the pokies in a single afternoon and play Mario Kart like a demon – stuff men are actually attracted to, and I reckon only half the chosen contestants could do all that stuff.”

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128 Drown While Lifeguards Busy Filming Bondi Rescue

bondi-rescue

More than 100 people have died in a horror start to the summer beach season at Bondi, where lifeguards have been preoccupied with filming new episodes of Channel Ten’s Bondi Rescue.

“Unfortunately, not all rescues make for good TV and we have to prioritise those that do,” one Bondi lifeguard said. “If you plan on visiting our beach and you’re not a strong swimmer, make sure you’ve got a fit rig and a decent tan. We air at dinnertime, you know.”

A Waverley Council spokesperson has labelled the deaths as “unfortunate but unavoidable collateral damage in the name of entertainment”, noting that “an entire episode full of lifeguards rescuing people makes for dull viewing”.

“People want to know more about the lifeguards’ personal lives, or watch them hoon around on a beach buggy looking for a tidy bit of crumpet,” he said.