Mastermind Behind Australia’s Hardest Easter Egg Hunt Reveals Secret

EasterEggHunt

A Maroubra dad whose Easter egg hunts achieved legendary status after children failed to find a single egg in 10 years, has today apologised to his family, community and religion, after admitting he’s been cheating for years.

“The real reason no one ever found any Easter eggs is that I never hid any in the first place,” he said. “All I did was hide a dozen or so cartons of beer in the fridge so I could enjoy them uninterrupted while the kids spent a few days rummaging around outside.”

The statement marks a significant change in tone from previous years, when the father of three labelled children participating in the event “idiots” for failing to find any eggs.

“Technically they’re still idiots for not working out that I never hid any eggs in the first place, but I guess I could be partly to blame,” he said, adding that he planned to make up for the decade of neglect by treating his children to a chocolate egg each the moment they go on sale tomorrow.

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Benzo Bender Showbag Becomes Bestseller at Easter Show

XanaxShowbag

The newly introduced Benzo Bender showbag has smashed previous records to become the bestselling showbag in the history of the Sydney Royal Easter Show.

The showbag, which contains Xanax and Valium, has been scooped up by parents, with some purchasing as many as 400 bags each.

“We thought it would do okay, but this is amazing,” a show spokesperson said. “It’s truly made a mockery of the previous champ, the Wizard’s Whopper, which now looks a bit limp.”

The Sydney Sentinel’s dedicated show correspondent visited the event yesterday but couldn’t get any comments from the thousands of barred out parents roaming the grounds, many of whom had passed out before even making it out of the showbag pavilion.

For those who can’t make this year’s Sydney Royal Easter Show, the Benzo Bender showbag is selling on eBay for triple the price.