Man Asking for Paris Restaurant Recommendations on Facebook Admits he was Just Humblebragging

HUMBLEBRAG

A Sydney man has revealed he didn’t really care what answers people gave to his question enquiring where a good Mexican-Italian-fusion-yum-cha-street-food truck is in Paris, and in fact was only asking the question so everyone knew he was in France and that he enjoys fancy cuisine that likely doesn’t even exist yet.

“I had to do it because my check-in at the Qantas Club Lounge didn’t get the attention it deserved,” said the 18-year-old stay-at-home son. “I even took a picture of my business class ticket poking out of my passport, with a slightly out of focus Champagne glass in the background and tagged it #BLESSED. People should be going out of their way to validate my existence.”

The man told The Sydney Sentinel that using his parents’ money to invest in himself is a “huge accomplishment” and that he should be praised for sitting on a plane for a long time as that’s “something poor people can’t afford to do, and if they could they would just buy drugs, but not the good ones I buy”.

He decided to come out and admit his attention-seeking post in order to seek more attention by featuring in the news.

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Festive Facebook Message From Big Corporation Saves Christmas

branded-xmas

A festive Facebook message from a giant global corporation saved Christmas for a Sydney man this morning when he opened Facebook to find the brand wishing him, his family and anyone he has ever crossed paths with a merry Christmas.

The pharmaceutical giant posted the message along with a snap of its branded anti-depressants tastefully arranged in the shape of a Christmas tree. “If it wasn’t for their heartfelt message, I would have spent the whole day in bed drinking eggnog like the rest of the year,” the man said.

Marketing expert Roger Johnson said corporations wishing a Merry Christmas on social media or email “spent a lot of time and money to mean what they carefully planned to say. Especially if you buy something from them.”

The Sydney man who had Christmas saved for him now plans to join the rest of his family looking down at their screens over a hot Christmas lunch in the sun.