Man Forced to Wash Hands as Colleague Enters Work Bathroom

wash hands

A Sydney man today has been forced to wash his soiled hands with soap and water after a colleague walked into the bathroom just as he exited his well-used cubical.

“Talk about bad timing,” the man said. “Now my hands smell like I’m some sort of fruit who wears fancy perfumes. It’s disgusting.”

A human-resources representative sympathised with the man but noted that there was no way of avoiding the “unfortunate incident”.

“We understand that the victim did the right thing and waited until all toilet patrons had left the bathroom before exiting the stall, but then this other bloke burst in out of nowhere and made eye contact with the man, forcing him to make a show of washing his hands,” the HR spokesperson said.

Staff were horrified when notified of the shocking incident.

“Christ,” said one man. “I’ve heard those taps have enough germs on them to take your hand off. It would’ve been better to wash his hands in the urinal with a trough lolly.”

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Man Forgets He’s not at Work and Pisses All Over Home Toilet

piss

A Sydney man this morning has had an embarrassing blunder after he pissed all over his home toilet seat, floor, hand towel, roof, vanity mirror and a bit out the window after forgetting he wasn’t at work.

“I was on autopilot ­– or maybe it was auto fire,” the man said. “I simply forgot where I was and proceeded to make an absolute mockery of my home toilet as if I was at work. It was lucky I didn’t go all out and unleash an upper decker on myself.”

The woman the man brought home the night before said she wouldn’t be returning.

“I thought he was having a shower by the sound of it all,” she said. “But instead of a towel and a fresh coat of deodorant, the man returned to the bedroom with urine-beaded track pants and a dripping chin. It was time to call the morning a night and leave.”

The gentleman has told the Sydney Sentinel that he’ll be closing the bathroom door and using the toilet at the servo for the weekend while things “naturally dry out, hopefully”.