A Sydney woman today made an emotional plea on her Facebook wall, urging people to stay strong following the terror attack in her “spiritual homeland”, New York City, where eight people were killed and eleven injured when a man intentionally drove a truck onto a bike path.
Even though the woman only visited the city for two days in 2007, and never left Times Square, she constantly referred to New York as “my city”.
“My heart goes out to all my amazing people in NYC,” the post began. “But we are strong, and I know firsthand that if you can make it there, you can make it anywhere.”
The woman further wrote that although at times she gets lost in the hustle of making it big, tragedies like this keep her grounded so she doesn’t forget who she is or where she came from, (ed’s note: Rose Bay) urging everyone to “stay real”.
The 10,000-word Facebook essay also included photos of her looking amazing in NYC while the friend she posed beside looked rubbish.
The only good thing about sliding down an icy hill, eating strange animal parts and paying thousands for worthless rocks is that other people can’t afford to, some of Australia’s wealthiest people have admitted.
“Going to the beach is obviously a lot more fun than skiing, but anyone can afford to do that,” one rich kid said in an interview from his parent’s ski chalet. “I thought this charade was something everyone was in on – I mean, exclusivity is the only logical reason anyone would choose to eat fattened duck liver or fish eggs over a sausage roll in a roll with sauce.”
Another rich kid said she was ditching all pretence of subtlety because responsibilities such as Instagramming photos of her business class ticket besides a strategically placed glass of Champagne from the Qantas lounge was becoming a full-time job.
“I’ve stopped buying expensive jewellery and perfumes and simply started pinning money to my designer outfits,” she said. “Poor people can’t tell the difference between designer and Target anyway, so this way they can easily identify me as #blessed.”
Other rich people have told The Sydney Sentinel that they also have decided to be more obvious about their superiority by leaving their ATM receipts in the machine for the next person to marvel at.
A Sydney man has revealed he didn’t really care what answers people gave to his question enquiring where a good Mexican-Italian-fusion-yum-cha-street-food truck is in Paris, and in fact was only asking the question so everyone knew he was in France and that he enjoys fancy cuisine that likely doesn’t even exist yet.
“I had to do it because my check-in at the Qantas Club Lounge didn’t get the attention it deserved,” said the 18-year-old stay-at-home son. “I even took a picture of my business class ticket poking out of my passport, with a slightly out of focus Champagne glass in the background and tagged it #BLESSED. People should be going out of their way to validate my existence.”
The man told The Sydney Sentinel that using his parents’ money to invest in himself is a “huge accomplishment” and that he should be praised for sitting on a plane for a long time as that’s “something poor people can’t afford to do, and if they could they would just buy drugs, but not the good ones I buy”.
He decided to come out and admit his attention-seeking post in order to seek more attention by featuring in the news.