Sydney Man Sues Employer for Unfair Un-dismissal


A Sydney man has told The Sydney Sentinel today that he will be suing his workplace for unfair un-dismissal after his boss forced him to stay in the office and do work on Friday afternoon, instead of dismissing him to the local watering hole to down schooners of Baileys, have a slap and hit on the barmaid.

“It’s just not Australian,” said the office worker at the centre of it all. “Everybody knows the working week finishes at Friday 12PM to give us battlers a chance to obliterate ourselves before facing the wife, mistress and kids.”

A union spokesperson has expressed his outrage. “His boss should be hung from his necktie for a few hours,” said the spokesperson. “I’d even argue that the working week finishes at 5PM Thursday, with Friday being a day of recovery and retox… so this poor bloke deserves every million he gets.”

The hospital where the man works as a brain surgeon has acknowledged the bungle.

“To attempt to make up for this PR nightmare, we will be introducing a medical marijuana trolley each Friday at 12PM for all our staff.”


Man Sues Supermarket For Not Having Anything to Slip On


Days after a woman was awarded more than $90,000 in damages for slipping on a grape in a supermarket, and another entrepreneur filed a claim for $50,000 for slipping on a banana while grocery shopping, a Lakemba man is now suing his local supermarket for not having anything on the floor to slip on.

“Being a simple working class man on the dole, my time is precious,” the victim said. “So after wasting six hours in my local supermarket looking for something to slip on without luck, I demand compensation.”

While circling the supermarket for spills, the man missed his favourite daytime TV shows and wasn’t present for the afternoon badge draw at his RSL club, an ordeal that his barrister claims left the victim “shaking from alcohol withdrawals”.

“This is another case of supermarkets bullying the small guys,” the barrister said. “First they went after the farmers, and now my client is being forced to live on just his dole payment due to the supermarkets’ competence.”